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Audacity

Posted on 6 January, 20236 January, 2023 by Ridley

File this under: LiveJournal-esque

2022 was tough, wasn’t it?

I’ve struggled to explain exactly why it felt so much worse to me than 2020 and 2021 which were pretty awful in their own way. They were a period of non-stop crisis that, while scary, felt finite. “This too shall pass.” Take care of ourselves, get the vaccines, and the odds were good that we’d get through it.

But 2022? 2022 had the feel of “the new normal.” The price of everything went through the roof; wages didn’t. Heaven help the folks on a fixed income. Some of the inflation was due to issues caused by COVID; most of it wasn’t. It was just an opportunity to rejigger the economy to transfer even more wealth to the wealthy. Plus, we just decided to surrender to the disease.

I wish I could blame it all on MAGA, but the truth is that there were plenty of anti-vax ninnies on all sides and, because of this, it was inevitable that COVID became endemic. Would it have done so anyway? Probably. We’ll never know because, as a people, we couldn’t even think of other people long enough to make an effort to slow it down. Wearing a mask was too much to ask, so I don’t know what I was expecting.

So, 2022 wore me down because of the realization that “this is just how it’s gonna be.” This is how things are and I’m going to have to get used to. This seems so much more oppressive than a time of crisis. There’s no adrenaline to “deal with it.” Yes, I know I’m coming from a place of incredible privilege in that we managed to land on our feet following the economic shock of the pandemic, and I apologize if this comes across as insensitive to those of you who were hit hard and struggled mightily to get back up.

My hope for 2023 is that I can reclaim hope. Hope is a funny thing, isn’t it? Steinbeck’s take is probably about right, even if it isn’t the most…hopeful. I need to stop living in survival mode and only trying not to let things get worse. That was 2022 and I don’t have enough years left to waste them in that mode. I have goals, and plans…”works in progress” would be the term…and I feel as though I finally have enough want, enough hope, to move forward.

So, that’s it for me for now. Helluva year, 2022. Let’s not do that again. Onward and upward in 2023…in spite of everything.

-RK

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