Ridley

Introducing: Aymeric Leonard Bitingway Vardy

Posted on 27 September, 20226 October, 2022 by Ridley

Hi! It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, am I right? Almost two weeks ago, we adopted a kitten. I wasn’t really looking for one, but I saw this picture posted and it got stuck in my heart: I know, right? Here’s his Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leo_the_fierce/ This kitten was the only feline in the shelter. He looked terrified, and his face has obviously seen better days. I may have set his image on the desktop of one of my computers, and I kept checking back to see if he’d been adopted. Two weeks passed and Nicole, being who she is, didn’t ask so much as “drove me to the shelter to meet him.” He was, as you might imagine, scared. His little steel cage was across from all the dogs, most of which were big and all of which were loud. The “meet” room was even closer to the dogs which seems like a design issue. Anyway, he let me pet him, but he’d hid behind me whenever the dogs got riled up. I finally got a little quiet time and managed to shake my hand around in a way that got him up on his back legs in the “I am fierce and will pounce on you!” pose. So, yeah, as if there was any doubt, the decision was made. I couldn’t take him home immediately as he needed to be neutered before they would allow an adoption. Sorry, little friend, but it’s for the best. I panicked several times over the next couple of days, worrying about what might happen (or if someone else would beat me to the punch; it’s first-come, first-serve at the shelter). A week ago last Friday, he came home with us. Now is a good time to mention that we do have two other cats: Red Velvet and Ramza. Red Velvet is 12 or so, and she really can’t stand active attention from other cats (she does like snuggling up to them). Ramza came to us from the same shelter as Aymeric about 15 months ago, and he terrorized poor Red Velvet. What would happen when we introduced a kitten into the mix? Magic, that’s what. Captured in a rare, “non-crazy-sparring moment. That’s Ramza in the rear and Aymeric up front. Ramza took to Aymeric (who can also be called “Leo” for short; cats must have numerous names), playing with him, grooming him, letting him have the first crack at fresh food, and basically being the big brother he was (apparently) born to be. He loves the kitten, and the kitten is obsessed with him. As for Red Velvet? She’s left alone like she wants to be. She’s still a little prickly when the kitten gets too close, but by and large, couldn’t have asked for a smoother introduction. It was not, however, the fastest introduction. Unlike Ramza, Aymeric had no litter-mates. He’d been feral and then caged by himself. I kept him in my office for his first week here, allowing the senior kitties to visit on occasion. Ramza played with him; Red Velvet ate his food. Aymeric was playful from the start, but very suspicious of noses, anything tall, and too many hands at once. That was then. Things have changed over the last week and a half. At first he was spending all his time in the office. Then, we started leaving the door open during the day so he could get out and wander around. It turns out he really likes being under our bed, which isn’t ideal, but Ramza loves to go there with him, so we roll with it. Then he started exploring the rest of the house, and finally, we stopped putting him up when we went to bed. He’s very confident, although he still prefers to have something over his head sometimes. He loves loves loves to sleep on me or right next to me. More often than not, when he’s sleeping, I find him asleep on my pillow. He purrs. He purrs a lot. He apparently has a very large “glockulum” which is what we have arbitrarily named cats’ organ-of-purring. The only downside is that yesterday I tested positive for the ‘rona. First time for me. And yes, you can pass it from humans to cats and especially kittens. So, I’m quarantining myself in the back of the house by myself and missing my wife and kitten terribly. Terrible timing, as if there was a “good” time to get COVID. OK, y’all have been good and patiently read my story, so here’s what you really came for: Pictures! First time sleeping on me. This old cat bed means a lot to me, and it means a lot that he took to it. First day home. Not too sure about this place. First day home after a meal and some pets. Looking very fierce indeed! Zips Bumbleton and Aymeric on the first day.

Magic and Loss

Posted on 31 August, 2022 by Ridley

It’s been an interesting couple of days. The weather rhymes with the mood, alternating between heavy rain and sweltering heat. You take the good, you take the bad, or something like that. The good persists, but you feel the bad more intensely at the time. My side gig is coming to an end. It wasn’t a paying side gig until recently; even then, it would be a stretch to call it “professional.” Nonetheless, it’s something which has occupied me for five years now and I’ve always enjoyed it. As is often the case, it wasn’t personal. It was business, at least to the people who were in charge. It hurts more than I expected it to. I assumed I would just walk away at some point but the thing would continue without me. I’ve read accounts of similar situations in all manner of arts and entertainments, but I didn’t really understand the sadness that comes with folding up the board, putting away the pieces, and closing the box until yesterday. It was good for five years, though. That’s a good run, and I’m thankful for it. Sunday night, Nicole picked out The French Dispatch for us to watch. It was really more for me than for her as her selections usually are. I am a fan of Wes Anderson’s work and always have been, but there are times when my fandom is difficult. I didn’t get The Grand Budapest Hotel at all even though I wanted to. There are times when the critics are correct and Anderson’s directorial tics approach self-parody. That was not the case with The French Dispatch. That isn’t to say that it isn’t a quintessential Wes Anderson film because it displays all of his mannerisms in abundance. The framing, the color palette, the tracking shots, and the David Byrne-meets-Michel-Gondry magical realism are all present. But, this is a much grander thing than we’ve previously seen from him. It’s been described as a “love letter to The New Yorker,” and it is certainly that, but it has the manic energy of the most meticulous stage production ever created. So yes, it’s a difficult film to describe. The stories (it’s an anthology) are beside the point; this film is all about how those stories are told.* The screen is often filled with so much, so many things happening at once, and not one of them is left to chance (it is Anderson, after all), that it’s not possible to take it all in at once. IMDb lists 363 cast members, all of whom are in motion except when none of them are during extended tracking shots that must have been a nightmare to produce. Every Wes Anderson film is a Wes Anderson film, which seems obvious until you try the same equation with George Miller. But, this is a bigger, more ambitious film than Anderson has ever wrangled. I loved it, and I loved watching it which is slightly different. I suspect your reaction will depend entirely on how you feel about Wes Anderson as this is the most Wes Anderson he’s ever been, and to me that’s a good thing. Last week, a discussion between one of my Twitter friends, Julie Brown, and I resulted in my wistfully recalling my long-lost copy of Miss Brown’s “Goddess In Progress” E.P. She said it was available on her site and, while it was sold out, there was a more-than-acceptable alternative: sigh. You have no idea how jealous (and impressed) the 1987 version of me would be. This is absolutely terrific, and Julie’s remains the force of nature she always was. I haven’t worked out the appropriate way to display this treasure, but it deserves better than sitting on the shelf where the rest of my CDs would be if I had any others. I referenced a thing that Nicole was working on a while back. I am sad to report that the “thing” is on hold, and I am the cause. I’ve been irresponsible…more accurately, I’ve been responsible only sporadically…and some financial problems from years ago have prevented us from moving aggressively to turn her idea into a reality. It will likely be 4-6 months before we can regroup and try again and I’m feeling the guilt. I have to be vague. It’s a good enough idea that, if it were to somehow make it to the wrong eyes or ears, our opportunity would be lost. It is possible that, come early spring, we will be in a better position than we thought we were in now. But, it’s possible we’ll miss the chance and that would be heartbreaking. That’s about it for now; thanks for checking in and take care of yourself. -RK

To Be Continued

Posted on 22 August, 2022 by Ridley

The latest issue of the comic Saga (at least the latest I’ve read) by Fiona Staples and Brian K. Vaughan has the results of a reader’s survey at the end of it. As an old LiveJournal veteran, I thought it’d be fun to treat the survey as a set of interview questions and see how that goes. Warning: I haven’t actually read the questions yet, so this might not go well. It’s Sunday night. Not like I’ve got a lot else going on. Question 1: Do you love your job? Oof. This could get me in trouble, but the answer is “no.” I’ve never loved any job. The closest I’ve ever come to loving a job was when I was a record store clerk as a second job and the people I got to work with plus the type of work I was doing plus the fact that I didn’t need that job made it a lot of fun. I don’t get loving a job. It’s just not how I’m wired. I had a gig in the sports world that seemed custom-made for me and not only did I not love it, it kind of made me hate sports at the same time. I understand the necessity of a job the way society is currently constituted and I try to make to do work I find meaningful, but “love”? That’s asking more than I think I have to give. Question 2: How many pushups can you do? Heh. Not many. I’m in lousy shape, but I’m in much better shape than I was six months ago. I’m just focusing on cardio work and not the arms, so…five? Question 3: What are your pronouns? He/him. I’m always tempted to change my nouns, but the pronouns are fine. Question 4: Did that last question bother you? Not at all. Question 5: Other than the incomparable Fiona Staples (the artist on Saga), who’s your favorite comic artist? I’ll always start with Bill Sienkiewicz. His work on New Mutants completely changes how I looked at comics. It was as revelatory to me as The Dark Knight Returns and Watchmen. Denys Cowan always delights me, and Gabriel Rodriguez is such an incredible craftsman. I love Colleen Doran, Mike and Laura Allred, Jackson Guice, Phil Jimenez, Frank Quitely, and Jamie McKelvie…don’t make me pick one. Question 6: What do you smell like? I don’t really have much of an aroma. I don’t wear deodorant and I’ve never had anyone comment on it. Not the most interesting answer to a pretty interesting question. Question 7: Who’s the best bald fictional character who is NOT a villain? Jean-Luc Picard. Question 8: Ketchup: yay or nay? Nay. Question 9: Have you ever killed someone? Nope. Been in stupid situations where it could have happened, but I was fortunate. Question 10: What was the #1 movie in America on the day you were born? This is too much like a security question for me to answer it directly. I’d never heard of the film, but hoo boy did it have a great cast and a great director. Question 11: Who’s the most famous person you’ve ever touched? Sir Terry Pratchett. I met him at a book signing after the release of Monstrous Regiment. I had him sign my copy of Small Gods. He drew a turtle inside. He was every bit as magical in person as you’d hope. Question 12: Do you believe in angels? Nah. Question 13: Is there a podcast you think we should be listening to? I’m more of a YouTube channel guy than a podcast guy. I really enjoy Adam Something, Chase Carneson, Nik Nocturnal, Benn Jordan, Espen Kraft, and Bad Gear. Question 14: What did you lose during the pandemic? Personally? Not much. We were very, very fortunate and have continued to be so. I’m disappointed in my country. The time came for us to look out for each other and a big chunk of us flat-out refused and the other half got tired of it all and gave up. My expectations were pretty low, but… Question 15: What did you gain? A lot! Like I said, we were fortunate. Working from home put a huge stress on our relationship, but the combination of absurdly low-interest rates, pre-boom housing prices, and generous 401k withdrawal rules let us buy a house when it seemed out of reach. The fact that we’ve managed to (mostly) see no one but each other for three years and yet we still look forward to seeing each other gives me great hope for our future. Question 16: Are you a fairly “accurate” representation of my astrological sign? Hell if I know. Question 17: How’s your local comic shop doing? Moving to a small town, we lost the joy of having a local comic shop. Our old one, on the other hand, is doing swimmingly. Question 18: Are you happy? Yeah, I am. I probably have been for a long time, but I’m more able to appreciate it now. Question 19: What would it take for you to be happier? Depends on when you ask. A shitton of money would be welcome, of course. Everyone else having the same advantages and good fortune we’ve had would thrill me no end. But, honestly? I wouldn’t trade my lot with that of anyone else on this planet. Question 20: Do you have any trophies? I do! After playing baseball for 9 years, I was finally on a championship team. I blew out my shoulder that year, but it was a great year. Also, one of my snails won a costume contest, but that’s really their trophy, not mine. Question 21: What’s the best sandwich you’ve ever eaten? I’m not a big sandwich guy, but there have been some memorable ones. My first banh mi, my first lobster roll…all great. But the best was a burger I ate at the Rockin’ R in New Braunfels, Texas. We had gone tubing after working to open a new Bennigan’s (this was a while back), but the river was very, very low so a three-hour float turned into an eight-hour drag and we had nothing to eat with us. When we finally got to the takeout, we descended like flies upon the little burger shack. I have no clue if the burger was…

Dotting The T, Crossing The I

Posted on 13 August, 202213 August, 2022 by Ridley

I’m out of gas, so please be patient with me. There’s a lot going on, or, more accurately, there was and I’m just catching my breath. I’m also writing this on my phone, which is not my preferred input device but the bed is really comfy right now. On the medical side, there was one last thing to check: I have a lumpy bit in my chest and, given family history and the fact that prostate cancer is linked to breast cancer, we got it checked out. “Checking out” amounted to having a mammogram and an ultrasound. It turned out to be a fatty deposit and of no concern whatsoever, so hooray for that. It turns out that my insurance doesn’t cover this for gents, so it was expensive good news but good news nonetheless. There was also a lymph node that has wandered south, but apparently this is pretty common. Getting older will disabuse you of the notion that these bodies are the result of exacting design. So, for those of you keeping score at home, there was one scary but apparently not that worrisome diagnosis and two false alarms over there last few months. I’ll take it, not that I have much choice in the matter. That’s another funny thing about getting older: So much of where I am now is the result of a die cast decades ago and only now coming to rest. We’re not exactly celebrating, but the sighs of relief have been plentiful. The side gig is ramping back up, the creative itch is making itself felt again, and there might even be some rain coming later this month. Might. I have to get up early tomorrow, so that’s it for now. The WordPress app isn’t bad; I like it a good deal more than the SquareSpace equivalent. It’s very wonky when it comes to uploading images but otherwise seems pretty solid. Goodnight, and I hope you have a nice weekend. -RK P. S. For any musicians reading this: If you use Reaper, be aware that, while it does have autosave, this feature is turned off by default. File that under “learned the hard way.”

Hand drawn capybara with a butterfly on its nose with the title "Capy energy".

The Best Bad News

Posted on 2 August, 2022 by Ridley

So, we finally got the biopsy results today: It is, as we expected, cancer. That’s the bad part. It’s a pretty bad “bad part,” but it’s not nearly as bad as it sounds. It’s “Grade 1” or a Gleason score of 6. It’s very small, it hasn’t spread, and it very closely resembles normal cells. The treatment for this is…nothing. Well, OK, not “nothing.” The recommendation is what they refer to as “active surveillance.” That means checking the blood every six months and a biopsy every 1-3 years. In my case, it’ll be in one year on account of my doctor being a big believer in “an abundance of caution.” That’s actually good, that abundance of caution. If they’re fine with not taking another chunk out of me for a year, then that’s a pretty good indication that there’s not a huge amount of immediate concern. The American Cancer Society website suggests that young and healthy men are seldom offered the option of just passive observation “out of concern that the cancer might become a problem over the next 20 or 30 years.” If it shows signs of growing or getting more aggressive, then we hit it with radiation. That’s not something one looks forward to as the incidence of developing superpowers from exposure to radiation is far rarer than comic books have led me to believe. But, it’s also not a particularly radical treatment and the survival rate is north of 99%. This is a helluva journey beyond “your bloodwork is a little off, let’s get this checked,” but that’s kind of the moral of the story. I wasn’t showing any other symptoms and might not have for a decade or more. Instead, we found it really early, early enough for “watch and wait” to be the recommended treatment. Meet the stuffed prostate that Thomas got me. We’ve decided to name it “Prossie.” No chance anyone could misinterpret that name. I’m really glad that Nicole pushed me to get checked. It could wind up being life-saving, or, at the very least, hugely expensive and invasive treatment saving. Folks, if’n you have a prostate, that little guy has the potential to cause you some serious problems. As unpleasant as getting MRIs and biopsies is (and they are unpleasant), they beat the alternative. If there’s a problem, it’s there whether you know it or not. So, that’s that for now, at least. I have one more thing to check in a couple of weeks for something that isn’t related and has a very low probability of being anything, but, again, “an abundance of caution” isn’t a bad way to approach one’s health. Anyway, and this is the whole point, I get to stop writing about getting my prostate checked for a while which is something I have been really looking forward to. I imagine you’ve been looking forward to that as well. Thanks for sticking with me. It wasn’t good news, but, by gum, it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as it could have been. We’ll talk about music or video games or synthesizers I can’t play worth a damn or sports or food or anything else for a bit. Cheers, -RK

How I Met !

Posted on 29 July, 202229 July, 2022 by Ridley

I’m tired of talking about boring and kinda depressing medical stuff, so let’s do a little fluff here. The other night, I was thinking about the first time I heard a song by Public Enemy, and it got me thinking about some of my more memorable introductions to bands. Memorable to me at least. Your mileage may vary. Public Enemy – OK, I was late to the party on PE. It somehow missed their first two albums (yes, even “Bring The Noise“), so I had no idea what to expect when Stefan, one of the waiters I worked with, told me “You like Nine Inch Nails, right? I bet you’ll like this.” He put on “Welcome To The Terrordome” and I couldn’t have been more into it. It was one of the most hypnotic tracks I’d ever heard, and Chuck D.’s delivery was mesmerizing. I asked Stefan for headphones and listened to it on loop for half an hour, letting it wash over me and absorbing the lyrics. This, to me, was the turning point for hip hop. I always like LL and Run-DMC and Kool Moe Dee, but this was just a game-changer for me. I haven’t ever seen ’em perform, but I did get to catch Chuck D. share the stage with Leonard Pitts. The Church – My roomie, Curtis, was a huge fan but I’d never heard them before. He was super excited when he brought home their new 12″ but he was disappointed with the fact that it was a departure from their earlier material. For me, though, “Under The Milky Way” was magical. It was a dreamy piece of musical perfection that sounded classic from the first listen. This song still lives on approximately all of my playlists and mixtapes. The New Pornographers – There was a weird period in the early 00s when I was finding all sorts of great bands in Spin magazine of all places. Ted Leo, The Arcade Fire, Metric, The Futureheads…a really long and exciting list. The writers really loved the NewPos, but I had no clue what kind of music they made. Fortunately, Casino El Camino was my favourite bar in Austin and they always had the best jukebox. They added Electric Version, so I gave the first four tracks a play. As soon as the title track started, I was in love. Melody-driven, high-energy, immaculate pop perfection. They remain my favourite band of this millennium and the competition is fierce. Mogwai – This was another band I’d heard a lot about but never actually heard. At this time, I didn’t really know what “post-rock” was (I doubt I’d even heard the expression), but I had a vague impression that this was a band I’d like. I was at the Borders book store in Dallas and saw that the Rock Action album was in one of their listening stations. I put on the first track, “Sine Wave,” and closed my eyes. It slooooowly came up into audio range and…look, I can’t describe this kind of instrumental music properly. I’ll just say that I love it and still use “2 Rights Make 1 Wrong” as my alarm music to help me get up in the morning. Ambulance, LTD – This was an accident. During SxSW, I went to Red-Eyed Fly to see Stellastarr* (who are great, by the way). I got their early to make sure I’d get in, so there was another band on the stage. I had no clue who, but every song they played was laid-back, guitar-driven, indie-pop. And they played it very well. They finished the set with an instrumental, which would be a pretty bold move for most bands, but they knocked it out of the park. The problem? I had no clue who they were. The schedule posted on the wall was wrong, so I spent a week chasing the wrong band. Once I finally figured out that the band that I was looking for was Ambulance, I bought the record immediately. It’s probably my favorite record since the turn of the century, so I recommend you check it out. Unfortunately, it was the only album they’d ever make. Frank Zappa – Heh. OK, so, as usually, I was a latecomer to the party. Jon LaMendola drove Curtis and me to lunch one day and, as we were pulling into the parking lot, he put in a cassette of Zappa’s “Montana.” Being heavily into British Invasion bands at this point, I’d never heard anything quite like this. Or, maybe I had, as the music was very much of the “Warner Brother’s cartoon” sort. The lyrics were silly, of course, and the music was silly, but it all came together in a way that was kind of awesome. Bad Religion – Another “oops” that worked out for the best. Matt, a dude who worked with me at the record store, recommended Bad Religion to me. I was a little surprised as punk wasn’t really my thing, but sure, why not? I bought Suffer and brought it home. Twenty minutes later, I was in awe (and the record was over; it’s not a very long album). Yeah, it was musically sold, but unlike most punk I’d heard, the singer could sing and the lyrics were (probably too) smart. The kicker, though, is that he hadn’t actually recommended Bad Religion; it was Christian Death and I just transposed them in my head. As I said, it worked out. I’ve seen BR more than a dozen times now. Polyphia – Chalk this one up to YouTube’s algorithm. I’m not sure why YouTube was so sure that I’d like them, but it kept showing me the video for “G.O.A.T” or reaction videos to the song. Finally, I gave in and gave it a listen. I know I’ve said this before (and likely will do again) but I didn’t have a framework to describe what I’d just heard. I couldn’t say what it was “like” because I hadn’t heard anything like it. Having watched dozens of reaction videos, my experience was pretty common. I guess this is probably a pretty typical introduction to a band that is never going to get radio airplay but has a rabid online following. Anyway, check ’em out. They’re terrifyingly good musicians and composers who never (OK, seldom) let virtuosity…

And I’m Hovering Like A Fly, Waiting For The Windshield On The Freeway

Posted on 24 July, 2022 by Ridley

We’ve done the thing(s) and we’re just waiting for results and/or answers. This next bit is, in my opinion, frank but not gross. Your mileage may vary. Just wanted to give you a heads up and an opportunity to close this tab. I’ll be happy to share more specific details with anyone interested, as the goal is to de-mystify and maybe encourage folks to get tested for prostate concerns sooner rather than later. I don’t have to be that vague about one of those things. I had my biopsy on Tuesday. The procedure itself was…fine? For a full-blown “check-in to the hospital, lots of brightly colored wristbands, ‘Are you sure you don’t want to fill out these advance directive forms for what we should do if things go terribly wrong which they almost never do?’” sort of procedure, it was not especially eventful seeing as I was unconscious for the most unpleasant bits. Me holding my little stuffed friend “Prossy.” Isn’t it cute? Thank you, Thomas. The doctor described how I would feel afterward quite accurately. I was a bit out of it for a day, I have some soreness near the perineum, and there’s blood in wildly varying amounts and will be for a couple of weeks, but for the most part, I’m unimpaired. Now it’s just a matter of finding out the results. No point in worrying about it. The die is cast and has settled, we’re just waiting for the cup to be lifted. We expect to hear the result on Monday. I can worry about it then. The other thing is much more positive, or at least has the potential to be, but I don’t want to share anything until it’s a bit more concrete. It is absolutely not related to pregnancy should anyone interpret my caginess thusly. It’s a good thing, and progress is being made, but this next hurdle is the big one. Wish me luck, or, more properly, wish Nicole luck. Life is not without joy right now, but I want to save the really good ones for another post. They’re silly and inconsequential, but joy doesn’t require them to be otherwise. You wouldn’t know it from most of what I’ve written, but our overall health is actually quite good and very much on the upswing. The doctors have been shocked that I’ve…um, well, basically, all I’ve done is do what they’ve asked me to do: Alter my diet significantly, increase my activity, and take the pills they tell me to take. I’m highly motivated*; I have things to live for. So, yes, basically, this is a post telling my literally several readers that I have nothing new to report. It’s been that kind of week. For the second straight weekend, work has consumed considerable chunks of time and that leaves me with a very nervous feeling of “I must make maximum use of the time I do have!” Of course, that feeling paralyzes me and I wind up doing the opposite. This is why I have a therapist, right? https://twitter.com/MrRidleyKemp/status/1549179250464407553 This was a really good riff on Conway’s joke. I will fight anyone who says otherwise. Alrighty, that’s it then. It’s late, I’m tired. I may even be tired to sleep. Only one way to find out. G’night, all. -RK * Dear Grammarly, I appreciate you reminding me that adverbs do not require hyphens even when they both look and feel as though they should. Just don’t expect me to stop doing it. Sincerely, Ridley

Holding Pattern

Posted on 15 July, 2022 by Ridley

Or, “Why should I post anything when there’s nothing new to report?” That’s not the most enticing title I’ve ever come up with, but I’m feeling a little down. The doctor called this morning to let me know that they needed a $500 deposit before my procedure next Tuesday. This is the reality of health care in this country. I’m fortunate; I have the best insurance my company offers but even then, very little beyond office visits is covered until I’ve spent $3,000 out-of-pocket. You roll in the cost of insurance and, yeah, $10,000 year seems about right. Again, I’m fortunate: I can afford it and still eat. For what it’s worth, these expenditures per capita include the cost of the single-payer systems, so I think it’s reasonably clear that there’s no reason to believe that the United States has “the best health care system in the world.” Just the most expensive. Oh, and minimum wage, which was supposed to be a living wage, would bring in a gross income of $14,500 or so working 40 hours a week. So, if you’re wondering why the clerk at the store has a hoarse voice, is sneezing uncontrollably, or walks with a limp, they probably had to choose between getting health care and eating. Geez, I didn’t mean to go off, but I’m not going to lie, I was feeling pretty down this morning. There’s been a lot of that. Money’s tight, obviously. We’re seeing temperatures in the 105-108 range, so doing things out of doors is problematic. COVID-19 is back with a vengeance (and by that I mean “it never went away”); I know more people infected now than I have at any point of the pandemic. It is a good thing that Nicole and I get on so well because we’re not going anywhere these days. Here’s a serious question: Is it better to devote oneself to One Good Cause or to try to pitch in and help out where you can? I see folks working at sea turtle rescue centers, or trying to make workplaces less dangerous for endangered people, or even trying to reform the political system. Things like that. Things that don’t pay at all well and require a certain single-mindedness, a passion, a devotion. I sometimes think “I ought to be doing something like that,” but I also find myself thinking “You’re stretched so thin already and things are so precarious in this increasingly mad world; just try to be there when people need help.” To be honest, this is more of a hypothetical question than anything. More likely to inspire introspection than action. I just see a certain, enviable, clarity of purpose in drawing the line and saying “Yeah, the world may be fucked, but I’m going to do everything within my power to make sure these endangered creatures have a chance.” I get that. Part of me wants to do it; part of me says I’d wind up hating whatever it was that I was trying to do and it would take a decade to find joy in it again, regardless of what “it” was. Why yes, I’m mostly just talking to myself tonight. I feel diminished today. Several (metaphorical) boulders rolled downhill and took a(n equally metaphorical) chunk out of me. But, things are looking up. As I sit here, hunched over the keyboard in my robe, Nicole brought me a couple of tiny waffles with blueberries in them and slices of strawberry on them. At the end of the day (against all odds, not a metaphor in this case), maybe things are looking up. G’night, -RK

Nothing To Say; All Night To Say It

Posted on 8 July, 2022 by Ridley

Is anyone else exhausted? Is everyone else exhausted? I keep thinking “I should write” but I don’t have the energy to do much anything, let alone write about it. It’s not just that there’s not a lot going on, but there’s a lot about to be going on and I can worry about things that haven’t happened with the best of them. So, I guess now that I brought it up, I might as well get this out of the way: Over a very short period, I’m going to be checked for three Very Bad Things. Two of them are likely false alarms, tested out of an abundance of caution. The third is the biopsy I mention before. All three checks will be performed over a period of seven days, and that’s a lot to have on one’s mind. But, it’s not all doom and gloom: I got to go up to Austin last weekend and drop off one of my keyboards for repair. “How is that a good thing?” I imagine you are asking. Well, the repair shop is a joint called Switched On and they have a new space up near Flightpath and it is an absolute wonderland for synth nerds. Not only do they do repairs, but they have a showroom full of mostly-vintage beasties for sale. So, if you ever wanted to play Van Halen or Rush on an old Oberheim? Stop in! John is still running the place and he is one of those good, “old Austin” types whose handshake can be trusted and smile is genuine. Don’t take him any Casio CZs, though-they’re bears to fix. Or maybe it was all doom and gloom, because, leaving Dragon’s Lair, I backed into a car that was backing out directly opposite of me. Nothing major, but still, it rattles you. They said that they saw me and laid on their horn which was puzzling because, if you saw a car backing into the same space you were back in to, you’d think you’d stop and maybe pull back into the space, right? Anyway, I don’t miss being around traffic. On the plus side, I did pick up a couple of comics I’d never heard of and was delighted by them both. Chip Zdarsky’s Public Domain is as personal and as meta as it gets, but it’s Zdarsky, so those are strengths as opposed to annoyances. It’s very much not what I was expecting, but I’m excited to see where he goes with it. I had no expectations at all for Zack Kaplan and John Pearson’s Mindset. I’d never heard of either of them but the cover art drew me in, and the interior art sealed it. It’s very early-Vertigo in look and feel in the Kid Eternity or The Enigma sense, but the story is very “now.” I have some suspicions as to where it’ll go, but it’s very thoughtful and just beautifully drawn and colored. What else? Um…work remains work. Nothing new on that front. Nicole somehow made cauliflower palatable tonight (thank you, ras el hanout). I love veggies in a general sense, but the cruciferous ones and I don’t get on well, but she worked some crazy magic and it tasted…good-ish?…to me. Eating well and exercising has me alternating between feeling fantastic at some times, and feeling absolutely broken down and out of gas at others. Ooof..I just responded to one of most painfully stupid TERF-troll posts I’ve ever seen on Twitter. I should go to bed. G’night all. -RK P.S. On the off chance you or someone you know has an old Casio VZ-1 and is struggling with transmitting SysEx over MIDI, feel free to reach out to me. I’ve spent months learning the ins and outs of this odd beastie and if I can make it easier for anyone else, I’ll be happy to do so.

Lemon, It’s Tuesday

Posted on 29 June, 2022 by Ridley

I know the world is nuts right now and, believe me, I’m concerned about it, but things are a little whirlwind-y here in my very limited neck o’ the woods, so bear with me on this. This is just personal stuff. Feel free to move along. There’s some medical stuff in here, so consider yourself warned. Side note: I know they tell you “Don’t talk about medical issues online! Insurance companies will see your pre-existing conditions!” Fair enough, but, I get the sense this advice isn’t really applicable anymore. Anyone who wants that information on you has it. Just trust me on this. They probably know more about what you’re dealing with than you do. I love privacy (although you’d be hard pressed to tell by how I act sometimes), but I feel like this battle was fought and lost. Anyway, my hope is that by talking about this stuff, maybe some other folks will go and see their doctors and make sure everything’s good. If something is wrong, you have it whether you know it or know. You’re better off knowing. Right, where were we? Oh yes: The MRI I had a couple of weeks ago wasn’t great. Well, I’m sure it was a wonderful magnetic image of parts of me, but those images were concerning. Nothing is certain, but the next step is a very uncomfortable biopsy. We’re doing it sooner rather than later as there’s little sense in waiting once the decision has been made. “It’s nothing” is still a possibility, but it isn’t necessarily the most-likely possibility. The path after that is less clear as this is still a recon mission. What we do, and how decisively it needs to be done, will be determined by the results. Nothing I can do right now but wait. I’ll say this, though: I’m glad Nicole pestered me to see a doctor more often. I’m glad my doctor was suspicious of a single marker that could have been a lot of other things. I’m glad my specialist wasn’t satisfied with cursory tests. If this is cancer, well, better to know now, better to catch it early, than to wait until I have symptoms. There are a couple of lesser things that my GP is referring to other specialists. Nothing to worry about there, it’s more about trying to get me to sleep better and stuff like that. He was, frankly, a little shocked at how much my bloodwork improved over the last seven months. Nicole and I have been eating really well, getting exercise, and generally taking care of ourselves. It’s not all doom and gloom by any stretch of the imagination. Speaking of Nicole, I can’t wait to tell you about her latest project…but I do have to wait. I can’t tell you what it is, but she’s got an idea… Y’all take care and be good to each other, -RK