Category: Journal

Is it just me, or have these last few weeks been the worst? I find myself listing the tragedies and obscene acts by politicians and celebrities just to keep myself from getting buried beneath the sheer awfulness. Hurricane Maria leaves thousands of Americans without food, water, power and/or shelter in Puerto Rico. The White House complained that helping these people was going to mess up “our” budget and told the people that they were lucky they hadn’t  The funding for CHIP expired on 30 September. The US votesd against a UN resolution condemning executing people for apostasy, blasphemy, adultery, and same-sex relations. The birth control coverage mandate has been removed. The dreamer program (DACA) has been ended. 59 people were murdered by one gunman in Las Vegas, leading to a massive surge in gun sales. The justice department has filed opinions in court stating that businesses may fire employees for being gay. The justice department has also determined that Title VII does not apply to trans people. The House has banned abortions performed after 20 weeks of pregnancy. The President of the United States is spoiling for war against North Korea. The administration is actively trying to undermine the ACA, limiting the registration period and declining to advertising the enrollment dates. That’s a hell of a list, and I’m certain I haven’t remembered everything. That’s the point though; there are so many terrible things happening (or, more accurately, being done) so quickly that it is difficult to focus and fight on all of these fronts. It’s overwhelming to me, and I’m not even in the line of fire for most of these Most of these acts target minorities. I don’t see any way to look at this list and come to any other conclusion, and I started writing this before today’s little PR stunt. In case you missed it, the President sent Vice President Pence to Indianapolis for the express purpose of walking out of a football game during the national anthem. They spend a reported quarter million dollars to have the Vice President protest against men who protest against race-based police brutality. So, if it’s wearing you down, I just wanted to let you know that it’s getting to me to too. Honestly, I’d be worried about anyone who doesn’t feel the weight of the events of the last few weeks. No matter how tempting it is, I implore you not to tune out for the sake of self-care. Doing that is a privilege possessed by people who aren’t (currently) under threat. Stay alert, stay angry, and for fuck’s sake, register to vote.  

Today was a nice day off before we do a little travelling this weekend. That didn’t stop Nicole from treating me like today was a work day in that she prepared one hell of a dinner (and dessert) while I diddled around on my keyboards and watched impatiently as my fantasy baseball team limped over the finish line. It’s been raining all day, which is nice, because it’s still a novelty. Autumn comes late here, so we’re just now starting to transition in double-digit high temperatures and clouds that arrive more purposefully than they have in four months. I’ve been reading a book of short stories by Roberto Bolaño titled The Return. Bolaño was a Chilean poet and novelist who was completely off my radar until this book caught my eye. The cover blurbs were unusual. I didn’t expect to see Mark Danielewski’s name on the back cover, but that’s the sort of thing that will make me think “Hmm, this might be worth a look.” As it turns out, Bolaño’s a hell of a writer. His dialogue has all the messiness of real conversations, even if I’m not always certain what the story is about. The tone brings to mind China Mieville, although the styles couldn’t be more different. I’m enjoying what I’m reading and I’ll likely be checking out one or more of his novels. I’ve added a couple of new-ish bands to my rotation: The Horrors and No Devotion. I say “new-ish” because neither of them are truly new. The Horrors’ fifth album just came out, and No Devotion are largely what emerged from the wreckage of Lostpropphets. They both are toting what I’d call a very late-80s sounds, not quite Joy Division, but close enough to be mistaken for it if you squint just right.  I can’t really think of any great movies I’ve seen lately, or even great television outside of “Rick and Morty” (I haven’t seen any of this season of “Bojack Horseman” yet, but I expect it’ll be strong). The hurricanes and the political mess have been sucking the air out of the room. All I have say about our President (at this time, at least) is that, if you want people to show respect for this country, maybe you should make it worth respecting. That’s about it for now. I’m in a lovely house with a wonderful wife, a cat sitting directly on my shoulder, a couple of beautiful snails, and with a delicious (and heart-healthy) dinner in my belly. Life is a lot better than I expected it to be. Nice surprise, that. -RK

Since I follow The Onion’s AV Club on Facebook, I see their Q&A feature pop up in my feed on a regular basis. They’re the sort of writing prompts I can’t resist and I’m not going to let the fact that I’m not technically (meaning “in any sense”) in the AV Club prevent me from offering up my answers to their questions.  This is the fourth one I’ve done. Here are the first, the second, and the third.   What pop culture you love is most difficult to explain? I may get roasted for this, but Zack Snyder’s Sucker Punch is a movie I just can’t abandon to the people who (maybe correctly) bash it for its misogyny. Snyder is an ambitious visual director who struggles to get his point across clearly. In Sucker Punch, I see one of the most ambitious movies I’ve ever seen. He tries to one-up Brazil both in terms of depicting fantasies that intersect with reality and with his outrageous anachronistic set pieces.  Maybe I was seeing things that weren’t there, but I think his depictions of the women’s fantasies were positive, both in intent and execution. I say “think” because I can understand arguments to the contrary. The film’s point of view is too shifty for its own good. I’m not sure that Sucker Punch is really a good film, but it tries to be a great one, and I love it for that, even if it doesn’t hit the bullseye.  What pop culture did you eventually come around on? When I was working for record stores, we used to take home promotional copies of records once we were done playing them in-store. In some cases, the record was never going to get any play and we just gave them away immediately. Since they were freebies, we often left with music we’d never heard of and weren’t particularly invested in giving a long listen to.  I brought home the promotional copy of My Bloody Valentine’s Loveless, which was a cassette, half-heartedly listened to it on my way home in the car, and immediately gave it to a friend who I thought might like that sort of thing. It turns out a crummy car stereo is the wrong way to listen to one of the most intricately-crafted guitar albums of all time. Who knew? Anyway, headphones turned me around on this one. The album sounds like being drunk at night on a merry-go-round in the absolute best way possible. What’s your favorite comfort food?  This is going to be the most pedestrian answer to this question you can imagine, but the honest answer is: Anything with chicken broth in it. Growing up, my mother would give me chicken soup and a salad for lunch when I was home sick from school. Ever since then, I’ve associated chicken broth with comfort. Chicken noodle soup, of course, but also chicken and dumplings, chicken ramen, chiken pho, and cream of chicken soup. If I had to pick one, though, it would be what commonly passes for tortilla soup in these parts. The spices, the aroma of the cilantro, the cheese, and even the baby ear of corn, all spell “comfort” to me. If we’re low on cash or just want something to warm our bones, Nicole cooks up a giant pot of her homemade tortilla soup using a whole chicken and we’ll eat that for four or five nights in a row. I never get tired of it, and I’m always a little sad when we finally run out. What’s your favorite pop culture about change? Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman reads like an anthology series made out of nesting dolls. There are stories within stories within stories. It’s not until you get near the end, around “Brief Lives,” that the pattern starts to emerge (of course, Delirium flat-out giving it away helps): The Sandman is about the Destruction brought on by change and the price of being unwilling to accept change. I was about to write “The beauty of the series is in…” and I just can’t narrow it down like the. There’s beauty in the telling, in the sly way the overarching story unfolds, in the complimentary one-off stories, in the art, and in the way it ends the way it must end and still manages to surprise. Change is inevitable; how you react to it (or don’t) determines its impact.

“That’s all I’ve tried to do — leave bits of shrapnel in them like I’ve had bits of shrapnel left in me from other films. We entertain as best we can, but we also try to reach people.” That’s from a Gizmodo interview with Terry Gilliam that came out about when The Zero Theorem was released. It’s not new, but it’s really, really worth reading. Some people struggle to add anything of interest when discussing their art, but Gilliam is not on that list.  I’ve seen Terry Gilliam’s The Zero Theorem three or four times now and it’s one of the stickiest movies I’ve ever seen. I mean this in the sense that I keep thinking about it, and about how bits of it connect to reality in weird and unexpected ways. Gilliam describes himself as a cartoonist, someone who’s showing reality in a distorted way in order to make his point. He’s also a poet, in that he uses visual metaphors that on the surface make no sense (try to describe Qohen’s job to your friends and see how mad you sound), but which can be easily understood by watching his films.  I love the idea of art leaving shrapnel in people. I get that, and he’s a master of it. His Brazil was the first film I can remember that hit me that way. It was also the first film I remember having to see multiple times before I “got” it.  It’s not just Gilliam or even films that do this to me. The first time I read John Steinbeck’s East of Eden, I wasn’t able to sleep for a couple of days because it messed up my worldview so severely (and, just for the record, for the better). Public Enemy’s Fear of a Black Planet lit up several of my blind spots, not the least of which was I had no idea hip hop could be that powerful. Grant Morrison’s The Invisibles, especially volume three, still mess me up. Obviously, “Black Mirror” is designed specifically to be this kind of weaponized art, and it succeeds more often than not. There are more, of course, but I didn’t want to turn this into a “list post,” I just wanted to share Mr. Gilliam’s insights. Again, I can’t recommend reading the whole interview strongly enough.  -RK

I just reading a couple of books that came highly recommended. One was cleverly-plotted, full of witty dialogue, quick pacing, and well-drawn characters; the other was Ready Player One.  The Thin Man by Dashiell Hammett isn’t considered his best work and the ending is unsatisfactory, but it’s such fun to read it doesn’t really matter. Nick and Nora Charles banter is the sort of thing that could (and did) launch a series of films based on the characters and increasingly distanced from the source material. It’s both light and literary, and there aren’t many authors who can pull that one off. The cover blurb, appropriately enough, is provided by Raymond Chandler “Hammett…wrote scenes that seemed never to have been written before.” I think that’s exactly right. The dialogue sequences, with the light banter mixed in with some serious sleuthing, are peppered with side-glances and ambiguous but significant facial expressions. It’s vivid without being verbose, which is one hell of a trick.  The story itself is gripping enough, but the fun is in the telling. I still struggle with describing myself as a fan of detective fiction, but, having finally read Chandler and Hammett, I’m starting to come around. I know that’s kind of like being a Bob Marley fan and saying you like reggae, but so be it. Hammett lives up to his reputation. I’m late to the Ready Player One party, in no small part because it’s a book so obviously aimed directly at me. I’d heard so much about it and about how I just had to get it that picking it up and reading it seemed kind of redundant. A cyberspace book with a lot of pop culture Easter eggs thrown in? That’s my wheelhouse all right. Having read it, I can see why it’s such a polarizing book. It’s a tween-ish hero story in 80s drag which makes it a very odd bird indeed. Are people may age, for whom the window dressing is suited, going to get into what is an extremely simplistic story, or are teens going to think that the 80s are just. that. cool? The story itself is fine for what it is. It could just as easily be set in Camelot, or Sherwood Forest, or Azeroth, or any stock fantasy setting. It’s extremely linear, with no real sense of menace and no real growth on the part of the main character other than an almost instant about face regarding the McGuffin. This happens, then this happens, then this happens, until you reach the end.  Of course, the story isn’t the secret sauce here, it’s all of the extremely detailed references to my high school years. The lists of favorite movies, bands, video games, and TV shows take up pages and pages of the novel. It’s not really an “Easter egg” if the author is showing each reference in your face and saying “Look at this! Isn’t this cool?!?!”  Reading it was slow going until I got about halfway through and I found myself just skimming the lists and details like “here is the hero played a perfect game of this video game,” and “this character has memorized every single line of dialogue in this film, here, let me show you!” It skipped along briskly once I stopped paying attention to what it was that made this book special. Take that for what it’s worth, I guess. To sum up, I’ve just started reading The Maltese Falcon and don’t plan on pick up Ernest Cline’s follow up novel, T̶h̶e̶ ̶L̶a̶s̶t̶ ̶S̶t̶a̶r̶f̶i̶g̶h̶t̶e̶r̶  E̶n̶d̶e̶r̶’̶s̶ ̶G̶a̶m̶e̶ Armada.

I keep staring at this page, thinking “I really need to post,” but my follow-through has been lacking. but there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve resigned from one of my three big responsibilities, probably later than I should have, but that will free up five to ten hours I found myself missing. The other side gig has settled into a nice rhythm that feels sustainable to me. The main job remains a little out of control, but that’s the nature of the gig and it isn’t likely to let up.  I’ll deal with that one later. I’ve also made my doctor cross with me. My blood pressure isn’t where it needs to be. We’re not to the point of prescribing medication yet, but diet and lifestyle changes are in order and they need to be pretty draconian. Apparently, my 2-pots-of-coffee-a-day habit isn’t what a doctor would call “smart.” So, minimal caffeine and no foods/snacks/drinks with added sugar. Oh, and I get a neat blood pressure cuff too. I knew things weren’t quite right, so I can’t say I’m surprised and, honestly? It could have been worse. Rather than complain about the fact I can’t drink so much coffee, better to just put my head down and make sure I don’t have to go on any meds. The one factor that worries me is that stress is a big player in the blood pressure concerns, so….how does one de-stress? Well, ditching one of my responsibilities is a good start.  Cats, too. Cats relieve stress. Not this one, but in general. The stress is going to be the hard part. Both my wife and my boss have encouraged me to stop acting like the world will collapse if I don’t get on it now now now. They’re both pretty smart, so I’m going to try to take their advice to heart. Easier said than done, of course, but hey, I can turn off work notifications on my email! I can even not log in to my work email at night at all. What an idea!  Writing here, too, is a way to slough off stress for me.  So, pretty soon, I’ll be back to the writing about books that have already been reviewed a zillion times, shaking my tiny fist at politicians, answering questions that were meant for other people, and, during the best of times, travel adventures with Nicole. Those are the best. Thanks for bearing with me on this one.  -RK

I’ve never seen it get this bad. Have you? Like I’ve said before, I vaguely remember Watergate, and this is nothing remotely like Watergate. At least Nixon was in control and the scope of his criminal activity was limited. Watergate was a trickle; this is a flood. It’d be easier if Trump himself were the only problem. Removing him from office would solve the problem and everything would go back to something resembling normal. Unfortunately, his complete inability to lead and govern* has created a vacuum of power that has allowed other bad actors to operate unchecked and sometimes unnoticed because of all the noise the White House is generating. One of the many, many things that bugs me about people who have “the answer” is that they will say “X is just a distraction from the big problem. While you’re worrying about X, then Y is going unchecked!” First of all, by some strange coincidence, “X” is a social justice issue that doesn’t directly affect this person, and “Y” is something that does. Every. damn. time. And you know what? There are a LOT of legitimate, big problems that need to be addressed. We don’t have the luxury of fighting this war on one front. The President is sympathetic to Nazis. Congress is trying to gut health care to give their donors tax breaks**. Many states have taken the emptiness of the office of the President as an opportunity to gut women’s rights, LGBT rights, rights for people of color, as well as the programs that assist the poor of all demographics. The Russians have attempted to co-opt our elections for their own benefit, as well as to undermine NATO. The police are killing people of color without any apparent reason without any consequences. Oh, and dumbass is still rattling nuclear sabers. My point is, don’t tell me that the focus needs to be on one of these problems and the others will be addressed later. We don’t have a single hole in the dam; we have a whole batch of them, and each of them will hurt and kill people. This ALL needs to be fixed, and saying we should only focus on your pet issue is not helpful and really patronizing. -RK     * I understand that if he were even slightly effective as a leader, he would create a whole different and possibly worse set of problems, but at least the source of the trouble would have a single address. ** OK, I could do a whole post on this, but the real reason for the panicked rush to repeal Obamacare is a lot simpler and more evil than tax breaks. One of our two political parties has hitched their wagon to the premise that the government can’t do anything right and everything should be privatized. A successful, popular health care program is a threat to their very existence in the same way social security is. That’s why repeal-without-replace was on the table. 

In which I discuss the ways I’ve over-extended myself, as well as an almost good film The list of emotions which make me want to write is a long one, but “stressed out” is absent from it. Is “stressed out” really an emotion? It is for my purposes, so just go with it. Anyway, I am currently working the equivalent of three jobs. Two of them are part time and don’t pay, but the third makes up for it by being more than full time but paying well.  Something has to give. I am not a workaholic by any means (ask any boss I’ve ever had), but I’m insecure and have difficulty saying “no.” I can juggle it all for a limited amount of time, but when it starts to poison my time away from work with worry and fear, I have to back away. That’s not strictly true; I usually just disappear from one context or another, but that’s not really a good option at this time.  The good news is that one of the side gigs is now proceeding nicely and has the potential to turn into a paying side gig, which is among the best sort of side gig. I’ll share more about it as it gets a little more solid, but it lives at the intersection of two things I love and it feels like a really good fit.  We saw Valerian the other night and I loved it on some levels and couldn’t have been more annoyed on others. It is flat-out gorgeous, with the kind of outrageous visuals you’re only going to get from Luc Besson. Everything on the screen was carefully designed and photographed. It’s right up there with The Fifth Element in terms of eye candy. I didn’t even mind the story as much as some of the reviewers did. It’s a little obvious, but for space opera? Plot-wise, it’s miles ahead of the similar but inferior Jupiter Ascending. Sure, you know 90% of the resolution within 15 minutes, but that’s hardly a fatal flaw. Where the movie tripped over its own feet was….well, let me ask you a couple of questions. Did you like The Fifth Element? Ok, would you still have liked it if, instead of Bruce Willis, the lead actor was a guy who looked more like a teenager in a Manchester club listening to The Smiths? Dane DeHaan may have a brilliant career ahead of him, but he never caught fire in this role. And fire would have been required, because some of the dialogue was clunky and cringe-worthy. A breezier performance might have gotten away with we never got any sense of who Major Valerian was until it was literally explained to us near the end. “You always follow the rules.” Wait, what? We never saw any of that. It seemed interminably long as it creaked towards its telegraphed conclusion. I don’t recall that being an issue with The Fifth Element, but the earlier film was only ten minutes shorter at two hours and seven minutes. Maybe Valerian will wind up being revered after the fact the way other Besson films have. It’s visually stunning, maybe even his best looking film. It just would have been a lot better if it were an hour shorter and with a different cast. -RK

I find it hard to write anything here when I’m feeling down.* I’m buried at work, my body is not feeling quite right, and there’s the ever-present feeling that this country is free-falling into one or more disasters. The stress has wrecked my sleep schedule and seriously cut into my time with Nicole, who is doing everything within her considerable power to prop me up right now. Fortunately, she’s very, very good at propping me up.  This is a long way of saying that I haven’t been good for much anything beyond “showing up at work” over the last couple of weeks, although there have been a few tidbits of interest: We have learned that camping in triple-digit weather is a Very Bad Idea. Our pet snails are getting along worryingly well. One of my aliases** may have secured an interesting writing gig on the side. “Burn Notice” was a damn fine show for three seasons.*** Warren Ellis completed the script for Fell #10 (#1-9 were insanely good). The gap between starting a long-term plan and seeing measurable progress is the worst. That last point concerns our long-term business plan. We’ve taken some steps forward, but the goal is still well over the horizon. It’s like starting an exercise program: The hardest part is the time after you’ve started it but before you start seeing measurable results. We’ll get there but it’s going to take a minute or two. I guess the long and short of it is that I’ve allowed myself to fall in to a rut. I do that as sort of a self-preservation technique (of highly debatable effectiveness) when I’m overwhelmed at work. The best way I’ve found to get out of these ruts is to wallow in ’em as long as I need to, and then to force myself to put one foot forward and do the things I mean to do but haven’t. Things like posting to this blog even when I don’t have a great deal to say.  -RK * In this sense, this site is the anti-LiveJournal. ** If “pseudonym” is correct, then shouldn’t “alianym” be acceptable as well?  *** Did you know that, before he starred in “Burn Notice,” Jeffrey Donovan was in Blair Witch 2? In fairness, I’m not sure anyone ever saw Blair Witch 2, but still..

“It has always seemed strange to me, ” said Doc. “Things we admire in men, kindness, and generosity, openness, honesty, understanding and feeling, are the concomitants of failure in our system. And those traits we detest, sharpness, greed, acquisitiveness, meanness, egotism and self-interest, are the traits of success. And while men admire the quality of the first they love the produce of the second.”  “Who wants to be good if he has to be hungry too?” said Richard Frost. “Oh, it isn’t a matter of hunger. It’s something quite different. The sale of souls to gain the whole world is completely voluntary and almost unanimous-but not quite. “ from Cannery Row by John Steinbeck I just finished reading a couple of Steinbeck’s shorter novels, Tortilla Flat and Cannery Row. They’re both fun reads but they’re not without their problems. Some of Steinbeck’s attempts at dialect have aged poorly, and his depiction of the paisanos of Monterey, California are well-meaning but come across as patronizing (at best). My favorite Steinbeck novels are his most focused. East of Eden and Grapes of Wrath are not just great stories; they’re works of enormous philosophical depth. Tortilla Flat and Cannery Row, on the other hand, are just good yarns. They’re well-told slice-of-life stories, funny ones, but not a great deal else. I’ve seen more than one contemporary reviewer who claimed that Steinbeck’s prose was so lacking in art that his books are effectively unreadable. I don’t get that at all. I’m hardly an expert, but I find his style more readable and enjoyable than, say, Hemingway’s forced minimalism or Faulkner’s showboating. I’m not saying that anyone who prefers those two is wrong, but I prefer Steinbeck. If that makes me pedestrian, well, it’s hardly the first time that label’s been applied to me. When I tell someone that Terry Pratchett’s Small Gods is one of my favorite books, the most common response is that they, too, love The God of Small Things. I’ve heard this often enough that I’m reading The God of Small Things now.  I’ll let you know what I think when I’m done, but so far? I’m hooked. -RK