Journal – Page 6 – Stay With Me, Go Places

Dotting The T, Crossing The I

Posted on 13 August, 202213 August, 2022 by Ridley

I’m out of gas, so please be patient with me. There’s a lot going on, or, more accurately, there was and I’m just catching my breath. I’m also writing this on my phone, which is not my preferred input device but the bed is really comfy right now. On the medical side, there was one last thing to check: I have a lumpy bit in my chest and, given family history and the fact that prostate cancer is linked to breast cancer, we got it checked out. “Checking out” amounted to having a mammogram and an ultrasound. It turned out to be a fatty deposit and of no concern whatsoever, so hooray for that. It turns out that my insurance doesn’t cover this for gents, so it was expensive good news but good news nonetheless. There was also a lymph node that has wandered south, but apparently this is pretty common. Getting older will disabuse you of the notion that these bodies are the result of exacting design. So, for those of you keeping score at home, there was one scary but apparently not that worrisome diagnosis and two false alarms over there last few months. I’ll take it, not that I have much choice in the matter. That’s another funny thing about getting older: So much of where I am now is the result of a die cast decades ago and only now coming to rest. We’re not exactly celebrating, but the sighs of relief have been plentiful. The side gig is ramping back up, the creative itch is making itself felt again, and there might even be some rain coming later this month. Might. I have to get up early tomorrow, so that’s it for now. The WordPress app isn’t bad; I like it a good deal more than the SquareSpace equivalent. It’s very wonky when it comes to uploading images but otherwise seems pretty solid. Goodnight, and I hope you have a nice weekend. -RK P. S. For any musicians reading this: If you use Reaper, be aware that, while it does have autosave, this feature is turned off by default. File that under “learned the hard way.”

Hand drawn capybara with a butterfly on its nose with the title "Capy energy".

The Best Bad News

Posted on 2 August, 2022 by Ridley

So, we finally got the biopsy results today: It is, as we expected, cancer. That’s the bad part. It’s a pretty bad “bad part,” but it’s not nearly as bad as it sounds. It’s “Grade 1” or a Gleason score of 6. It’s very small, it hasn’t spread, and it very closely resembles normal cells. The treatment for this is…nothing. Well, OK, not “nothing.” The recommendation is what they refer to as “active surveillance.” That means checking the blood every six months and a biopsy every 1-3 years. In my case, it’ll be in one year on account of my doctor being a big believer in “an abundance of caution.” That’s actually good, that abundance of caution. If they’re fine with not taking another chunk out of me for a year, then that’s a pretty good indication that there’s not a huge amount of immediate concern. The American Cancer Society website suggests that young and healthy men are seldom offered the option of just passive observation “out of concern that the cancer might become a problem over the next 20 or 30 years.” If it shows signs of growing or getting more aggressive, then we hit it with radiation. That’s not something one looks forward to as the incidence of developing superpowers from exposure to radiation is far rarer than comic books have led me to believe. But, it’s also not a particularly radical treatment and the survival rate is north of 99%. This is a helluva journey beyond “your bloodwork is a little off, let’s get this checked,” but that’s kind of the moral of the story. I wasn’t showing any other symptoms and might not have for a decade or more. Instead, we found it really early, early enough for “watch and wait” to be the recommended treatment. Meet the stuffed prostate that Thomas got me. We’ve decided to name it “Prossie.” No chance anyone could misinterpret that name. I’m really glad that Nicole pushed me to get checked. It could wind up being life-saving, or, at the very least, hugely expensive and invasive treatment saving. Folks, if’n you have a prostate, that little guy has the potential to cause you some serious problems. As unpleasant as getting MRIs and biopsies is (and they are unpleasant), they beat the alternative. If there’s a problem, it’s there whether you know it or not. So, that’s that for now, at least. I have one more thing to check in a couple of weeks for something that isn’t related and has a very low probability of being anything, but, again, “an abundance of caution” isn’t a bad way to approach one’s health. Anyway, and this is the whole point, I get to stop writing about getting my prostate checked for a while which is something I have been really looking forward to. I imagine you’ve been looking forward to that as well. Thanks for sticking with me. It wasn’t good news, but, by gum, it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as it could have been. We’ll talk about music or video games or synthesizers I can’t play worth a damn or sports or food or anything else for a bit. Cheers, -RK

How I Met !

Posted on 29 July, 202229 July, 2022 by Ridley

I’m tired of talking about boring and kinda depressing medical stuff, so let’s do a little fluff here. The other night, I was thinking about the first time I heard a song by Public Enemy, and it got me thinking about some of my more memorable introductions to bands. Memorable to me at least. Your mileage may vary. Public Enemy – OK, I was late to the party on PE. It somehow missed their first two albums (yes, even “Bring The Noise“), so I had no idea what to expect when Stefan, one of the waiters I worked with, told me “You like Nine Inch Nails, right? I bet you’ll like this.” He put on “Welcome To The Terrordome” and I couldn’t have been more into it. It was one of the most hypnotic tracks I’d ever heard, and Chuck D.’s delivery was mesmerizing. I asked Stefan for headphones and listened to it on loop for half an hour, letting it wash over me and absorbing the lyrics. This, to me, was the turning point for hip hop. I always like LL and Run-DMC and Kool Moe Dee, but this was just a game-changer for me. I haven’t ever seen ’em perform, but I did get to catch Chuck D. share the stage with Leonard Pitts. The Church – My roomie, Curtis, was a huge fan but I’d never heard them before. He was super excited when he brought home their new 12″ but he was disappointed with the fact that it was a departure from their earlier material. For me, though, “Under The Milky Way” was magical. It was a dreamy piece of musical perfection that sounded classic from the first listen. This song still lives on approximately all of my playlists and mixtapes. The New Pornographers – There was a weird period in the early 00s when I was finding all sorts of great bands in Spin magazine of all places. Ted Leo, The Arcade Fire, Metric, The Futureheads…a really long and exciting list. The writers really loved the NewPos, but I had no clue what kind of music they made. Fortunately, Casino El Camino was my favourite bar in Austin and they always had the best jukebox. They added Electric Version, so I gave the first four tracks a play. As soon as the title track started, I was in love. Melody-driven, high-energy, immaculate pop perfection. They remain my favourite band of this millennium and the competition is fierce. Mogwai – This was another band I’d heard a lot about but never actually heard. At this time, I didn’t really know what “post-rock” was (I doubt I’d even heard the expression), but I had a vague impression that this was a band I’d like. I was at the Borders book store in Dallas and saw that the Rock Action album was in one of their listening stations. I put on the first track, “Sine Wave,” and closed my eyes. It slooooowly came up into audio range and…look, I can’t describe this kind of instrumental music properly. I’ll just say that I love it and still use “2 Rights Make 1 Wrong” as my alarm music to help me get up in the morning. Ambulance, LTD – This was an accident. During SxSW, I went to Red-Eyed Fly to see Stellastarr* (who are great, by the way). I got their early to make sure I’d get in, so there was another band on the stage. I had no clue who, but every song they played was laid-back, guitar-driven, indie-pop. And they played it very well. They finished the set with an instrumental, which would be a pretty bold move for most bands, but they knocked it out of the park. The problem? I had no clue who they were. The schedule posted on the wall was wrong, so I spent a week chasing the wrong band. Once I finally figured out that the band that I was looking for was Ambulance, I bought the record immediately. It’s probably my favorite record since the turn of the century, so I recommend you check it out. Unfortunately, it was the only album they’d ever make. Frank Zappa – Heh. OK, so, as usually, I was a latecomer to the party. Jon LaMendola drove Curtis and me to lunch one day and, as we were pulling into the parking lot, he put in a cassette of Zappa’s “Montana.” Being heavily into British Invasion bands at this point, I’d never heard anything quite like this. Or, maybe I had, as the music was very much of the “Warner Brother’s cartoon” sort. The lyrics were silly, of course, and the music was silly, but it all came together in a way that was kind of awesome. Bad Religion – Another “oops” that worked out for the best. Matt, a dude who worked with me at the record store, recommended Bad Religion to me. I was a little surprised as punk wasn’t really my thing, but sure, why not? I bought Suffer and brought it home. Twenty minutes later, I was in awe (and the record was over; it’s not a very long album). Yeah, it was musically sold, but unlike most punk I’d heard, the singer could sing and the lyrics were (probably too) smart. The kicker, though, is that he hadn’t actually recommended Bad Religion; it was Christian Death and I just transposed them in my head. As I said, it worked out. I’ve seen BR more than a dozen times now. Polyphia – Chalk this one up to YouTube’s algorithm. I’m not sure why YouTube was so sure that I’d like them, but it kept showing me the video for “G.O.A.T” or reaction videos to the song. Finally, I gave in and gave it a listen. I know I’ve said this before (and likely will do again) but I didn’t have a framework to describe what I’d just heard. I couldn’t say what it was “like” because I hadn’t heard anything like it. Having watched dozens of reaction videos, my experience was pretty common. I guess this is probably a pretty typical introduction to a band that is never going to get radio airplay but has a rabid online following. Anyway, check ’em out. They’re terrifyingly good musicians and composers who never (OK, seldom) let virtuosity…

And I’m Hovering Like A Fly, Waiting For The Windshield On The Freeway

Posted on 24 July, 2022 by Ridley

We’ve done the thing(s) and we’re just waiting for results and/or answers. This next bit is, in my opinion, frank but not gross. Your mileage may vary. Just wanted to give you a heads up and an opportunity to close this tab. I’ll be happy to share more specific details with anyone interested, as the goal is to de-mystify and maybe encourage folks to get tested for prostate concerns sooner rather than later. I don’t have to be that vague about one of those things. I had my biopsy on Tuesday. The procedure itself was…fine? For a full-blown “check-in to the hospital, lots of brightly colored wristbands, ‘Are you sure you don’t want to fill out these advance directive forms for what we should do if things go terribly wrong which they almost never do?’” sort of procedure, it was not especially eventful seeing as I was unconscious for the most unpleasant bits. Me holding my little stuffed friend “Prossy.” Isn’t it cute? Thank you, Thomas. The doctor described how I would feel afterward quite accurately. I was a bit out of it for a day, I have some soreness near the perineum, and there’s blood in wildly varying amounts and will be for a couple of weeks, but for the most part, I’m unimpaired. Now it’s just a matter of finding out the results. No point in worrying about it. The die is cast and has settled, we’re just waiting for the cup to be lifted. We expect to hear the result on Monday. I can worry about it then. The other thing is much more positive, or at least has the potential to be, but I don’t want to share anything until it’s a bit more concrete. It is absolutely not related to pregnancy should anyone interpret my caginess thusly. It’s a good thing, and progress is being made, but this next hurdle is the big one. Wish me luck, or, more properly, wish Nicole luck. Life is not without joy right now, but I want to save the really good ones for another post. They’re silly and inconsequential, but joy doesn’t require them to be otherwise. You wouldn’t know it from most of what I’ve written, but our overall health is actually quite good and very much on the upswing. The doctors have been shocked that I’ve…um, well, basically, all I’ve done is do what they’ve asked me to do: Alter my diet significantly, increase my activity, and take the pills they tell me to take. I’m highly motivated*; I have things to live for. So, yes, basically, this is a post telling my literally several readers that I have nothing new to report. It’s been that kind of week. For the second straight weekend, work has consumed considerable chunks of time and that leaves me with a very nervous feeling of “I must make maximum use of the time I do have!” Of course, that feeling paralyzes me and I wind up doing the opposite. This is why I have a therapist, right? https://twitter.com/MrRidleyKemp/status/1549179250464407553 This was a really good riff on Conway’s joke. I will fight anyone who says otherwise. Alrighty, that’s it then. It’s late, I’m tired. I may even be tired to sleep. Only one way to find out. G’night, all. -RK * Dear Grammarly, I appreciate you reminding me that adverbs do not require hyphens even when they both look and feel as though they should. Just don’t expect me to stop doing it. Sincerely, Ridley

Holding Pattern

Posted on 15 July, 2022 by Ridley

Or, “Why should I post anything when there’s nothing new to report?” That’s not the most enticing title I’ve ever come up with, but I’m feeling a little down. The doctor called this morning to let me know that they needed a $500 deposit before my procedure next Tuesday. This is the reality of health care in this country. I’m fortunate; I have the best insurance my company offers but even then, very little beyond office visits is covered until I’ve spent $3,000 out-of-pocket. You roll in the cost of insurance and, yeah, $10,000 year seems about right. Again, I’m fortunate: I can afford it and still eat. For what it’s worth, these expenditures per capita include the cost of the single-payer systems, so I think it’s reasonably clear that there’s no reason to believe that the United States has “the best health care system in the world.” Just the most expensive. Oh, and minimum wage, which was supposed to be a living wage, would bring in a gross income of $14,500 or so working 40 hours a week. So, if you’re wondering why the clerk at the store has a hoarse voice, is sneezing uncontrollably, or walks with a limp, they probably had to choose between getting health care and eating. Geez, I didn’t mean to go off, but I’m not going to lie, I was feeling pretty down this morning. There’s been a lot of that. Money’s tight, obviously. We’re seeing temperatures in the 105-108 range, so doing things out of doors is problematic. COVID-19 is back with a vengeance (and by that I mean “it never went away”); I know more people infected now than I have at any point of the pandemic. It is a good thing that Nicole and I get on so well because we’re not going anywhere these days. Here’s a serious question: Is it better to devote oneself to One Good Cause or to try to pitch in and help out where you can? I see folks working at sea turtle rescue centers, or trying to make workplaces less dangerous for endangered people, or even trying to reform the political system. Things like that. Things that don’t pay at all well and require a certain single-mindedness, a passion, a devotion. I sometimes think “I ought to be doing something like that,” but I also find myself thinking “You’re stretched so thin already and things are so precarious in this increasingly mad world; just try to be there when people need help.” To be honest, this is more of a hypothetical question than anything. More likely to inspire introspection than action. I just see a certain, enviable, clarity of purpose in drawing the line and saying “Yeah, the world may be fucked, but I’m going to do everything within my power to make sure these endangered creatures have a chance.” I get that. Part of me wants to do it; part of me says I’d wind up hating whatever it was that I was trying to do and it would take a decade to find joy in it again, regardless of what “it” was. Why yes, I’m mostly just talking to myself tonight. I feel diminished today. Several (metaphorical) boulders rolled downhill and took a(n equally metaphorical) chunk out of me. But, things are looking up. As I sit here, hunched over the keyboard in my robe, Nicole brought me a couple of tiny waffles with blueberries in them and slices of strawberry on them. At the end of the day (against all odds, not a metaphor in this case), maybe things are looking up. G’night, -RK

Nothing To Say; All Night To Say It

Posted on 8 July, 2022 by Ridley

Is anyone else exhausted? Is everyone else exhausted? I keep thinking “I should write” but I don’t have the energy to do much anything, let alone write about it. It’s not just that there’s not a lot going on, but there’s a lot about to be going on and I can worry about things that haven’t happened with the best of them. So, I guess now that I brought it up, I might as well get this out of the way: Over a very short period, I’m going to be checked for three Very Bad Things. Two of them are likely false alarms, tested out of an abundance of caution. The third is the biopsy I mention before. All three checks will be performed over a period of seven days, and that’s a lot to have on one’s mind. But, it’s not all doom and gloom: I got to go up to Austin last weekend and drop off one of my keyboards for repair. “How is that a good thing?” I imagine you are asking. Well, the repair shop is a joint called Switched On and they have a new space up near Flightpath and it is an absolute wonderland for synth nerds. Not only do they do repairs, but they have a showroom full of mostly-vintage beasties for sale. So, if you ever wanted to play Van Halen or Rush on an old Oberheim? Stop in! John is still running the place and he is one of those good, “old Austin” types whose handshake can be trusted and smile is genuine. Don’t take him any Casio CZs, though-they’re bears to fix. Or maybe it was all doom and gloom, because, leaving Dragon’s Lair, I backed into a car that was backing out directly opposite of me. Nothing major, but still, it rattles you. They said that they saw me and laid on their horn which was puzzling because, if you saw a car backing into the same space you were back in to, you’d think you’d stop and maybe pull back into the space, right? Anyway, I don’t miss being around traffic. On the plus side, I did pick up a couple of comics I’d never heard of and was delighted by them both. Chip Zdarsky’s Public Domain is as personal and as meta as it gets, but it’s Zdarsky, so those are strengths as opposed to annoyances. It’s very much not what I was expecting, but I’m excited to see where he goes with it. I had no expectations at all for Zack Kaplan and John Pearson’s Mindset. I’d never heard of either of them but the cover art drew me in, and the interior art sealed it. It’s very early-Vertigo in look and feel in the Kid Eternity or The Enigma sense, but the story is very “now.” I have some suspicions as to where it’ll go, but it’s very thoughtful and just beautifully drawn and colored. What else? Um…work remains work. Nothing new on that front. Nicole somehow made cauliflower palatable tonight (thank you, ras el hanout). I love veggies in a general sense, but the cruciferous ones and I don’t get on well, but she worked some crazy magic and it tasted…good-ish?…to me. Eating well and exercising has me alternating between feeling fantastic at some times, and feeling absolutely broken down and out of gas at others. Ooof..I just responded to one of most painfully stupid TERF-troll posts I’ve ever seen on Twitter. I should go to bed. G’night all. -RK P.S. On the off chance you or someone you know has an old Casio VZ-1 and is struggling with transmitting SysEx over MIDI, feel free to reach out to me. I’ve spent months learning the ins and outs of this odd beastie and if I can make it easier for anyone else, I’ll be happy to do so.

Lemon, It’s Tuesday

Posted on 29 June, 2022 by Ridley

I know the world is nuts right now and, believe me, I’m concerned about it, but things are a little whirlwind-y here in my very limited neck o’ the woods, so bear with me on this. This is just personal stuff. Feel free to move along. There’s some medical stuff in here, so consider yourself warned. Side note: I know they tell you “Don’t talk about medical issues online! Insurance companies will see your pre-existing conditions!” Fair enough, but, I get the sense this advice isn’t really applicable anymore. Anyone who wants that information on you has it. Just trust me on this. They probably know more about what you’re dealing with than you do. I love privacy (although you’d be hard pressed to tell by how I act sometimes), but I feel like this battle was fought and lost. Anyway, my hope is that by talking about this stuff, maybe some other folks will go and see their doctors and make sure everything’s good. If something is wrong, you have it whether you know it or know. You’re better off knowing. Right, where were we? Oh yes: The MRI I had a couple of weeks ago wasn’t great. Well, I’m sure it was a wonderful magnetic image of parts of me, but those images were concerning. Nothing is certain, but the next step is a very uncomfortable biopsy. We’re doing it sooner rather than later as there’s little sense in waiting once the decision has been made. “It’s nothing” is still a possibility, but it isn’t necessarily the most-likely possibility. The path after that is less clear as this is still a recon mission. What we do, and how decisively it needs to be done, will be determined by the results. Nothing I can do right now but wait. I’ll say this, though: I’m glad Nicole pestered me to see a doctor more often. I’m glad my doctor was suspicious of a single marker that could have been a lot of other things. I’m glad my specialist wasn’t satisfied with cursory tests. If this is cancer, well, better to know now, better to catch it early, than to wait until I have symptoms. There are a couple of lesser things that my GP is referring to other specialists. Nothing to worry about there, it’s more about trying to get me to sleep better and stuff like that. He was, frankly, a little shocked at how much my bloodwork improved over the last seven months. Nicole and I have been eating really well, getting exercise, and generally taking care of ourselves. It’s not all doom and gloom by any stretch of the imagination. Speaking of Nicole, I can’t wait to tell you about her latest project…but I do have to wait. I can’t tell you what it is, but she’s got an idea… Y’all take care and be good to each other, -RK

The Worst Decision Since Dred Scott

Posted on 25 June, 202225 June, 2022 by Ridley

Look, the majority of us know it’s an evil decision by the Supreme Court. In terms of rolling back rights and creating a separate legal environment for people based on who they are as opposed to what they do, it’s right up there with Plessy v. Ferguson. As terrible as it was, I’m not certain that that case had the same broad, revanchist implications as this one. Even without the knock-on effects, Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization is an absolute mess if the non-party affiliated lawyers’ reactions are anything to go by. Hey, Democrats Trying To Fund-Raise Off Of This! So, the Nancy Pelosi campaign wasted approximately zero time in trying to raise money off the outrage at this…um…outrageous decision: Nancy Pelosi just sent out her first email fundraising off the decision overturning Roe v. Wade. pic.twitter.com/i85Yfxeyuv— Gravel Institute (@GravelInstitute) June 24, 2022 Great! I’d love to donate to politicians who are actually going to do something about this. But…some of y’all have been in Congress for 35 years now. What have you done to enshrine Roe in law? What legislation have you supported, what have you sacrificed to make sure that it passed? I want to see your record on this subject. And I want a plan. I want to know what action you’re going to take to right this wrong. I don’t want to hear “I’ll fight!” or anything that isn’t specific and measurable. Without that? You’re part of the problem and you need to get out of the way. But They Lied During Their Confirmation Hearings!!!! Yeah, the Trump appointees all lied about their views on Roe. If Kavanaugh lied about what “boofing” meant, you thought he was going to be honest about Roe? We all knew it at the time. Susan Collins knew it. There’s zero chance of repercussions. Sorry. Samuel Alito Is A Coward and a Liar Here’s what Alito said about the potential domino effects of overturning Roe: “Finally, the dissent suggests that our decision calls into question Griswold, Eisenstadt, Lawrence, and Obergefell. But we have stated unequivocally that ‘[n]othing in this opinion should be understood to cast doubt on precedents that do not concern abortion.’ We have also explained why that is so: rights regarding contraception and same-sex relationships are inherently different from the right to abortion because the latter (as we have stressed) uniquely involves what Roe and Casey termed ‘potential life.’” There’s a lot in the decision that is head-scratchingly wrong, but this is the most egregious bit. First of all, it is pretty obvious that contraception does, in fact, involve ‘potential life’ so he’s done us the favor of invalidating his entire premise. More to the point though, let’s be honest here: If he believes that Roe was so wrongly-decided that there was a need to overturn 50 years of settled law, then there’s no defending other decisions based on Roe unless your entire goal was to make abortion illegal no matter what legal reasoning you had to create and what other consequences might ensure from that reasoning. This is reminiscent of Bush v. Gore, a decision that the majority knew was so specious that they went out of their way to state that it shouldn’t be used as precedent. Alito knows damned well that he has just knocked the foundation out from other a host of other rights; he just doesn’t want to own it. At least Clarence Thomas, the one openly-corrupt justice on the bench, had the courage to own what they were doing in his solo concurrance. He knew what the decision meant, and he embraced it. I can’t really give him any credit for the enthusiasm with which he listed the rights which could be swept away, but at least he was honest about what the court had just done. You Have No Idea About How Much Time And Effort Overturning Roe Took I don’t mean to depress you, but this has been over 50 years in the works. My parents, both Goldwater Republicans, saw what happened when they tried to swing for the fences with a hard-core radical conservative in the general election. Goldwater got 52 electoral votes, taking his home state of Arizona and the deep South. They learned from this defeat. You cannot start at the top, especially if you’re a radical wing of a minority party. You make like Drake and you organize locally; you take the school boards and the city councils. You take the county offices. And then? You start changing the rules to ensure that your minority movement has an outsized voice. You gerrymander. You suppress voting in areas where you’re weak. You work your way up to the state houses. You re-make the voting maps. Then, and only then, do you start dreaming of national offices. Reagan was the child of the 1964 presidential election, and he was just the start. There was a lot of hard, unsexy work at nigh-invisible levels to get to the point where a Reagan was a viable candidate. If history is any guide, you don’t, you can’t start with electing Bernie Sanders. Bernie would do better than Goldwater, but he doesn’t get into triple-digits in the electoral college. That’s not to say that this particular issue cannot be reversed quickly. The avenues to do so range from “unlikely” to “are you fucking kidding me?”, but they do exist. However, the long-term goal of a progressive government that assures civil rights, human rights is not going to happen in one presidential election. A Quick Note On “The Media” Y’all…the media has always leaned conservative. I’m old enough to remember when Lee Atwater openly admitted that his complaints about the “liberal media” were just him “working the ref.” I’m old enough to remain mainstream coverage of unions, which was universally negative. Coverage of wars and of policing is universally positive. “How can this be? Most media personalities are liberal?” They are! But, most media outlets are owned by either billionaires or huge companies, and neither of those categories is known as a hotbed of socialism. It turns out that the owners and their proxies in management have a great deal more influence over what gets covered, and how it’s covered, than the reporters do. Thanks For Reading This Far I’m pretty depressed about this. Everyone has seen this…

Art deco skulls smoking with the word reminiscences over their head

Zero-Point Energy

Posted on 23 June, 202223 June, 2022 by Ridley

After a month of nothing but frustration and some (likely self-created) stumbling blocks, things are starting to click for me again. Getting this #$%#$(@#$ site transferred was a part of both equations, but I think there’s more to it than that. Exactly what that source of creative energy is, I’m not certain, but I’m not super worried about that right now. Last night, as work was winding down, Nicole sent me this message: “Tea and tarot?” Did you know there are Yoshitaka Amano tarot decks? I wouldn’t say either of us is into tarot, but it’s fun to pretend and get out of work-brain. The first card I pulled was the Fool because of course it was. Anyway, while I’m sure it’s a coincidence, everything I pulled suggested creative energy and the removal of obstacles and I’m not going to with a random deck of cards. The song I was working on is all but done. The only question is whether or not to cut down the extended, slow-build opening which is probably the right answer but…maybe I’ll do both versions. The um, “hit single” version (snort), and the “album” version (guffaw). It’s good, though, and I don’t normally say that about my own stuff. My super-secret-side-hustle is going well, too. There’s been a little burst of interest at an unusual time for interest in this particular subject, so that’s gratifying. It’s still just a hobby and pays accordingly, and I think it is extremely unlikely that it will ever be anything else, but it’s fun and it lets me stretch a muscle that had been dormant for a good while. And yes, I’m being vague (unless you know me personally, in which case I’m just being silly), but I’m more comfortable that way. One thing I haven’t done much of lately is fiction, but I’m getting that urge again and the burr under my saddle is an odd one: The Taco Bell Quarterly. It is, as near as I can determine, a legit literary magazine, albeit one where all of the material must relate in some way to Taco Bell. The fact that they are not in any way connected to the fast food company only makes it more intriguing. I’m one of those folks who generally works better with some arbitrary restrictions or a prompt of some sort, so this is right up my alley. And, I am having ideas. Dark ideas. Probably not-good ideas. But ideas nonetheless. We finally got library cards here in Seguin. For such a small town, we have a shockingly nice library. We’ve visited several times but never filled out the paperwork prior to this weekend. Not an artist’s conception; this is really what it looks like. I’ve done a poor job maintaining my reading levels since I stopped taking the train to work. I have a stack on my nightstand awaiting my attention, but there’s nothing like a “return by” date to get me motivated. I picked up A Blink of the Screen, a collection of Terry Pratchett short stories. Pratchett feels exactly the right choice for my First Library Book in town. Now, I think I’ll retire to the bedroom, do some reading, and try to ensure that Pratchett isn’t also my First Library Fine here as well. -RK

Keep Moving Forward

Posted on 22 June, 202223 June, 2022 by Ridley

At the end of the three-day weekend, Nicole thought it’d be fun to watch a movie she liked that I’d never even heard of: Disney’s Meet The Robinsons. Y’all, it was surprisingly good. The animation is definitely of its time, that time being the “the late 00s,” which isn’t my favorite look, so I was a little grumpy when it started. But, the thing chugged along like a freight train with an absurd amount of goofy energy, silly set-pieces, the odd celebrity voice, and a pretty solid overall message to go with an off-the-rails story. I’d heard nothing about it and apparently, it did nothing at the box office despite a pretty hefty budget, and that’s a shame because it’s a better film…check that, I’m not sure it’s a “better” film, but it’s more fun than other far more famous (and profitable) Disney properties. Today I learned: One of my favorite bands helped finance Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Actually, it was a bunch of them, but I hadn’t heard Genesis were involved prior to today. It doesn’t mean a lot, I suppose, but I’ve always loved it when two unrelated things I like intersect in unexpected ways. Anyway, while we were talking about movies, I thought I’d bring it up. Hrm…I started at the end, so let’s go backward (counter-clockwise?) through the weekend. Before settling in for a film, Nicole made generous use of my favorite seasoning in making dinner. I’m a sucker for ras-el-hanout in just about anything, and the lack of Moroccan food around here hurts. She fried up some garlicky meatballs, made roasted veggie ragout, and some homemade hummus and it was all spectacular. The ras-el-hanout was the primary seasoning for the meatballs and used to great effect in the veggies too. If you’re a fan of Mediterranean food and have tried any Moroccan meals, I cannot recommend the cuisine highly enough. I spent most of yesterday working on a song that’ll be my first complete effort in years. It’s a full production of the little melody I used to sing to my cat when he was struggling. I wanted him to hear my voice, so I just came up with something I could sing over and over for an hour at a time. I’m reasonably sure it’s the last thing he heard, and I feel like completing this song is important to honor him. I think all the tracks are in place; we’re just mixing and mastering now before calling it complete. Felt good to finally get back into the groove and produce something rather than just “writing” (which could easily be confused for just unfocused noodling on the keys to distract me from actually completing anything). Since I couldn’t eat anything beforehand, around noon we popped up to San Marcos to get yet more blood drawn and schedule an appointment with the GP. I’m sure this has been building for a long time, but it still feels as though “visiting doctors on a very regular basis” became a thing for me very suddenly. There’s probably nothing of note happening, but the doctors are very keen on collapsing the state of that probably to a certainty. It would be lovely if more of this were covered by my insurance, but it’s lovely to actually have insurance. Here’s hoping for very positive results and the unlikely avoidance of a nasty little procedure. We’ve taken to getting up early (by my standards) and going to the park to play a small amount of basketball or soccer and do some walking. Just 30-40 minutes a day at this point as some of us aren’t in peak athletic condition, but that brief exercise is starting to pay dividends. I’m definitely feeling stronger and more energetic, at least when I’m not feeling sleepy from getting up early. It was a good day. With the world seemingly collapsing around us, I’ll take a good day. -RK